Love And Sacrifice
Valuing relationships over Power. (YuYu Hakusho)
Since I started this whole tournament, I learned the value of what you gave away- Yusuke
What stands before me is a man who gave up everything. Every connection he once thought sacred has been severed. When strength becomes absolute, nothing else matters. With you embracing this demonic nature, I became jealous of your resolve. A being who put his personal stamp on life left me questioning why I didn't take this path in the first place.
Why is my spine shivering?
Why is the fear creeping into my core?
Why is my shoulder growing cold?
Why is doubt rushing through my veins?
Why am I having visions of failure?
Despite being on the receiving end of the beating of a lifetime, I continue to rise for another helping of torture. Crazy to think that while you cave my chest in, I actually looked up to you.
Alpha Idol?
My goal has always been to be better than I was yesterday; to face challenges head-on that were once thought unattainable. Regardless of trying to kill me, you were the closest thing to a father figure I could find. You did what was necessary to avenge your friends and took it one step further.
Your presence alone screams “Alpha Male” louder than insecure boys on social media. Having muscles in places that I didn’t think possible, a small flick of the finger is enough to require an emergency room vacation. For a person to challenge you could be considered a symptom of madness.
A man willing to sacrifice everything may be commendable to some, and why not? Your potential was determined only by you. Testosterone incarnate, you were what boys should “aspire” to be.
Like many others, I was envious of a person who refuses to believe in anything besides himself. As my life was far from perfect, why wouldn't I want to be just like you?
Skipping School
School isn't for everyone, and that couldn't have been more of the case with me. Despite how terror became my best friend during The Dark Tournament, I would rather be here than calculating algebra. Until my own death, I didn't even understand my purpose.
I trotted aimlessly, daring someone to pick a fight. And this lack of focus wasn't exactly addressed when I arrived home either.
With my mom being an alcoholic fighting for her dear life against an everlasting hangover, it's hard to take anything seriously. Even though my issues with her were longer than a nerd's comic book collection, at least she was somewhat present.
Only God knows where my sperm donor is, and I’m not the one to pray for answers. Having all of the excuses to be useless to society, I’m surprised I didn’t get swallowed by depression.
My Allies
While your relationships are based on the negative aspects of competition, I chose to go a different route. Throughout all of the disagreements, the bond I share with my friends grows every day. Giving me the emotional strength to move mountains, my will is directly connected to them.
Pushing me in ways I never thought possible, we’ve made it out of extremely deadly situations together. Which only showed me that isolation is not always the key to growth.
When I'm drowning in insecurity, it’s my comrades who bring me sanctuary. It would be a living nightmare if something were to happen to them. Even worse, I couldn’t imagine if any type of threat was directed at the person who believed in me since day one.
Day-One Partner
The day I turn my back on the first person who showed me more love than I could ever realize is the moment hell freezes over. To strive for greatness does not mean seclusion. Sometimes people need to hear that you're in their corner, and I'm no different.
The mere thought that I once respected a man without a heart is disgusting. To relinquish the gift of spending the days with someone who valued the original “you” is something I could never honor.
I held something dear while you took it for granted. The love I have behind me is what is going to push me through this deadly situation. Valuing the strength in relationships rather than power in oneself. And the son of a bitch, looking me in the eye, took the one motherly figure I had in life.
What Genkai taught me
The woman you just murdered has seen for herself what happens when you let the devil inside. Akin to you, her life has been filled with tragedy, but that's where the similarities stop.
Not only did she train me like she had a pain fetish, but she let me know the dark side to attaining power by dastardly means.
Reminding me that my found family gives me strength and will help me all the way to the end. Isolating oneself will only lead to a life filled with purposeless solitude. To lose love, friends, family, all for what?
Power that brings fear to everyone you once loved.
Power that does nothing but cause destruction.
Power that steals souls subconsciously.
Power that's fueled by separation.
Power that leaves you all alone.
Fear
How dare you take life's blessings and toss them to the wayside? You sat there, afraid of what could actually be possible. You feared the unknown even though the future was written all over the wall, and that was a life worth living.
In this world, life definitely has its ups and downs, especially as a demon hunter. You were so afraid of your own vulnerability that you chose to live in a prison of loneliness, panicking at the consequences of acceptance.
Running away from life's hardships shouldn't be revered. The thing that makes life beautiful is that it is filled with moments that redefine beauty while being paired with occasional trips to the shadows. Gifted with near eternal life, and praying for someone strong enough to kill you is a sad existence.
A Final Teaching Moment
Seeing the way you decided to live your life has changed me for the better. Somehow, in your own terrible way, you cared for me. The towering stature couldn’t hide the man who was suffering from inner turmoil. Not even your death was enough to satisfy your need for true atonement.
Hearing that you chose to go through a more intense punishment told me all that I needed to know. Your final regret was not living that beautiful life promised to you. It was right there at your fingertips; all you had to do was listen to the person who adored you the most.