A Real Debbie Downer
Have you ever survived your own nightmare?
Robert Kirkman’s take on heroism shatters the barriers that keep superheroes from dealing with issues outside of saving the day. Similar to the world we live in today, fortunate outcomes aren't always guaranteed. Life is filled with all sorts of twists and turns, so much so that reality itself seems to be teetering on a knife's edge.
Even though the world seems to be thrown into chaos at a moment's notice, there has always been one constant. A woman surrounded by super-powered beings shows that her heart holds the greatest strength.
There are limits to the amount of abuse one can take, however, Debbie handles suffering with grace and elegance.
Define Marriage?
The stories of flawless love and perfect relationships flooded our early development. Craving the perfect lifestyle that we see in cinema, many would love to walk in your shoes for just a day.
Raising a beautiful family while looking forward to each morning is a blessing none should take for granted. Carving your own definition of what love means, you take flight with your partner through this journey called life.
A bond that seemed inseparable from the very beginning, your life is amazing in most areas. Yes, some days work seems to get the best of you, and maybe parenting is harder than you thought. No one is perfect, and mistakes are bound to happen.
Your connections and worries are different from those of a suburban housewife. Life can come crashing down on you fast, both figuratively and literally.
However, you wouldn't trade this lifestyle for the world. The man who holds the praise of billions only looks forward to seeing you at the end of a long shift. The admiration between you two forged a child who is not only brilliant but also kind and empathetic.
You crave the embrace of each other after being apart for only a day. Even though 24 hours seems minuscule, the time separated can feel like a lifetime. Even with all the complications of Nolan being the world's savior, they handled it better than anyone.
Walking through life Blindfolded
Being lied to by your partner over something trivial is hard enough. To even risk the bond you two share is already grounds for separation; however, Nolan took things to an entirely different dimension.
Imagine the person you shared everything with,
Cuddling and dreaming all night.
Spent countless hours talking about your dreams and desires
Cooked dinner for, catered to,
Birthed a child for,
Given every last bit of your mind, body, and soul,
- just for your entire relationship to be considered “A minor distraction”.
Reality begins to vibrate violently as your mind tries to make sense of the words said in a broadcast to the entire country. Not only is this the most humiliating moment of your life, but it's compounded by the fact that this is for all the world to see. The worst moment imaginable is now happening on Channel 12 News.
Lies and deception seemed to have gained a new meaning in the time spent between you and Nolan. Bashing yourself in the mirror for someone else's manipulation, it would’ve been better if you just didn’t exist. Your heart is shattered beyond repair. And your life literally becomes the worst-case scenario.
Insanity Fuel
With your heart pounding through your chest, a chill runs up your spine. The life you had yesterday is all but a distant memory.
While your son is getting his face rearranged by the man you swore to love till the end of time, nothing feels real. You are existing in your own nightmare. A bright star swallowed by the black hole of deceit; you could have never predicted this wave of bullshit flooding your direction.
Some of us have relationships that change us better or for worse. Whether we become the knight in shining armor, destined to be synonymous with loneliness, a new chapter of depression and growth has begun.
A breakup is one thing, but Nolan took every reprehensible measure that a sociopath could take. The first time he ever told the truth, families were ripped limb from limb. The bodies seemed to have had a date with a wood chipper.
From dispatching his teammates in the most violent way possible to deceiving his way into the planet’s good graces, you were clueless to the fact that you were sharing your bed with a monster.
The “Savior” then proceeded to pave the city in blood while using his son's face as a battering ram. The worst part is that even if you try to attempt to regain your self-worth, your husband has left such a toxic environment that you can't even function.
Repercussions of Nolan’s Bullshit
The life Nolan left behind was riddled with hatred and depression. With mangled bodies riddled throughout the devastation, the citizens left were unforgiving.
The only people to absorb the anger of the world was the innocent family he abandoned. We’ve all seen comments on Twitter/X (who cares) and other social media. We've seen how quick people are to judge and use words protected by anonymity. However, when these negative interactions are in person, lines always get crossed.
Struggling to pick up the pieces, your family life is slowly starting to come back together. Mark's face is starting to heal, the house is being rebuilt, and things are starting to look up. Maintenance is being done on the surface level; however, on the inside, you're still dying.
The wine bottle in the cabinet needs to be replaced more times than not. Drowning your sorrows in alcohol is nothing new. It's just one more bad decision with a lifetime now filled with regrets and mistakes.
Sometimes life sucks, end of story
In the game we call life, some of us get the short end of the stick. Through no fault of our own, sometimes truly heinous things happen to good people. The risk of danger hides in every corner, and sometimes you are the danger.
Eventually, even our own bodies turn against us; a small mistake in a DNA sequence can grow into a malignant problem overnight. The older we get, the more we come to understand that even stress is a murderer.
The trauma we suffered outside creeps indoors, and anxiety and regret become new roommates. We try to cover the pain with alcohol or other risky behavior, but there’s no cure in sight.
Suffocating on our sorrows and having sheer loathing whirl you down to the drain. No matter how positive one may seem, the world has a tendency to show no mercy.
The Phoenix was inspired by me!
But despite having every reason to hide her head in despair, she stands tall. With or without Nolan, she is the foundation of this family. With the thousands of arrows created by public prosecution singeing deeper into the flesh, you still protect the family no matter the consequence.
Being able to put her grief, rage, and sanity aside and still fulfill every role your son could ask for is no small feat. Your strength knows no bounds as you’ve been tested beyond belief. By dancing with suicidal thoughts with an audience of demons, you didn’t leave this battle unscathed
Refusing to let society define her, she continues to be the support system that is so desperately needed in today’s world. The experience of betrayal has changed her, but not for the worse.
-Thank you so much for reading
There's a tangential topic to discuss here that sort of splinters from your premise. Give me a little slack, I'm approaching this from the perspective of theory.
You call Nolan a sociopath, which he is by essentially every definition of human understanding. Notably, sociopathy is sort of a cultural catch-all term rather than a diagnostic criteria, but everyone basically knows what it means, so that's largely a moot point. He's a megalomaniac that holds no value for the life/livelihood/experience of others, and has essentially no humanity as we generally define it. But that's the problem, he has no humanity because he's not a human.
Nolan views Debbie as 'a pet' because that's sort of what his existence lends his belief/line of reasoning to be. He is/will be thousands of years old, he's from another part of the galaxy, and is used to technology and systems of thought that are completely incomprehensible to humanity. He looks like a man, but is more analogous to being a man only if humans are analogously reduced to the role of insects.
To him, humans, at the very, very minimum, are like cave people learning how to utilize fire. The human race is constantly at war, has no central government or school of thought, no united purpose or vision. We collectively possess no possible way to stop Nolan as an individual (currently, I haven't seen the whole story obviously), much less stop his entire race (again, same asterisk). Nolan's race, on the other hand, is socially united, 'enlightened' by their own perspective, spans the galaxy, and wields technology which would appear, per Clark's maxim, to us to be more like magic.
Psychologically, it's not unfair to say that Nolan would view any human in the way we would view a family dog. It's 'part of the family', but it can't understand us. It makes us happy, but we can't talk with it about things that are important. It thinks it's important, but it's entire existence is subservient to the family (analogous to how Debbie couldn't help, hurt, or really understand Nolan). It will die long before we do, and we'll move on with our lives, probably getting another dog, and another one after that.
Then there's the age difference, which is something I've been thinking about for a long time. Imagine you're an 80 year old trying to form a bond with a teenager. Is that even really possible beyond a mentor/parental role? A teenager probably doesn't have the wisdom, experience, frame of reference, cultural exposure, or maturity to be able to bond with an 80 year old. They wouldn't have any shared experiences to discuss, wouldn't like the same things, wouldn't be prone to accepting the cultural norms of the other. It's not a coincidence that every generation hates the music of the generation that comes after them, or thinks that things are changing too quickly.
People that were born in the 1940's (who are now in their 80s) grew up in Jim Crow, lived through a world war, existed without TV as we understand it in the modern context, and used to drink milk out of a bottle that was delivered every morning by a milkman. I'm in my 30's and I have next to nothing in common with late teenagers today. I teach 18-22 year olds, and they tell me my movie references are out of date and that my music is considered vintage. Then I realize they were born after 9/11, have no god damn idea what a swirly is, and have had been able to google answers to things their entire lives. They don't know what it was like to have to watch TV at a certain time each day to see the show you wanted to watch, or have to ask your one cool friend to burn you a CD, or not know what the word gay actually meant because everyone used it as a substitute for dumb on the playground.
Now, multiply that concept by thousands of years and you get the gap between Nolan and Debbie. By all of earth's standards, he's a terrible human being, but again, he's not a human. Humans treat life on our planet with extreme callousness and disregard for its autonomy, for better or worse. Is it so farfetched to accept that aliens of vastly greater intellect, power, longevity, and social cohesion would treat us the way we treat chimps? We lock them up in zoos, use them for experiments, and shoot them when they're a nuisance. Chimps use tools, have social cohesion, can learn rudimentary language, and clearly possess intellect. And we treat them worse than the average dog, who at least gets to be part of the family.
Am I advocating for Nolan's actions? Nope. Do I think it's worth discussing that, within the story, there's quite a bit of wiggle room when it comes to alien ethics? Yep.
Just some tangential thoughts, not trying to throw shade on the essay.
I really like this one quote
“Through no fault of our own, sometimes truly heinous things happen to good people.”
Because, why, do bad people get good things and good people get bad things?